Meditation 101: Part I

One of the things that has had the most profound, deep, and significant effect on my life is meditation.

Unlike most things in this world, where some people can benefit it and others can’t, meditation is something that truly everyone can benefit from and use, and I would even argue, needs.

It doesn’t matter what religion you are or what your beliefs may be, or whether or not you’re spiritual or in to new age elements—anyone can meditate.

Meditation can be tailored to any person. Whether you’re simply looking to relieve some stress, trying to connect to your higher self, or even connect to a higher power, meditation is a great way to help you on your path to becoming your greatest version.

Meditation forces you to look inward and connect with yourself. It forces you to face your inner demons, and all those things that have been pushed deep beneath the surface. It compels you to get to know yourself—without judgment—and to take a moment in your hectic schedule, in this busy world, to just breathe.

Meditation has done so much for me since I started it about a year ago. It has made me a more compassionate, loving, patient, tolerant, and caring person. It has relieved my stress and depression that used to follow me like a dark cloud everywhere I went. It also forced me to confront years of issues that I had pushed deep down into the nefarious ether of my psyche, so that I could truly heal and get to know myself without hindrance or judgment. It has made me more happy and easy-going, and changed my entire vibe. Most of all, it has made me connect—connect to myself, people , nature, the universe, Earth, and something else I can’t quite put my finger on, and although I can’t see it, I feel it, and I know it’s there.

I was always one of those people that thought meditation was some “new-age hippie mumbo jumbo” that hipsters did because they wanted to seem “deep.” I was a very angry, judgmental person back then, full of fear—fear of myself, of others, the unknown, things I didn’t understand… Now if I don’t meditate at least once a week, I find myself slipping into old habits of anger, sadness, depression, darkness, intolerance, impatience, and most of all, extreme road rage. (Can I get an “amen!”?)

But it was when I truly allowed my mind to become silent, that I could finally hear my heart speak; and every meditation I found myself closer to who I truly wanted to be. Because of this, meditation is what I chose to do my first blog post on, as I feel everyone can benefit from it, and it has left such an indelible mark on me and my life, and I know it will do the same for you. This is going to be Part I in my “Meditation:101” series, which will be full of different meditation techniques, advice, as well as tips and tricks. Whether you’re a novice or you’ve been meditating for awhile, there will be a little something for everyone to take away from this series.

One thing I constantly hear from people is that they’ve “tried meditation but they couldn’t quiet their mind and kept thinking thoughts.” And to that I say, what kind of a human are you? Thinking thoughts? What’s the matter with you! Oh, for shame! But in all seriousness, you are human! So, of course, you are going to think thoughts! We all do, and it’s perfectly normal. The key is to allow those thoughts to come into your mind, to acknowledge them without judgment, and then let them pass. Soon you’ll find that your mind will begin to still, and your thoughts will float away, and what you will be left with is beautiful.

The second thing I always hear from people is, “I don’t really know how to meditate.” Well, my dear friends, never fear; I’ve got your back. I am going to teach you some of my favorite meditation techniques and tips, and we’ll have you Ohm-ing your way to tranquility faster than you can say “Namaste!”

Technique #1: Find your Ujjayi

Too often in life, we forget to breathe—I mean really breathe—and the funny part is, we aren’t even conscious of it. If you actually bring your attention to it, you will find that most of the time you are breathing shallow, rapid breaths with long breaks of holding your breath in between, especially during times of stress, frustration, or being so immersed in a task that it consumes you.

Imagine your body is full of stagnant energy, in the form of pent-up emotions, feelings, and other toxic junk—both physical and metaphysical. The more you take deep breaths in (fresh air/energy) and exhale long breaths out, the more you are releasing all of that stagnant energy and negativity that’s pent up in your body and causing you pain and stress—physically, mentally, and emotionally. After just a few minutes of using this technique that I am about to teach you, you will feel renewed and refreshed.

This is a breathing technique that focuses on what’s called deep, diaphragmatic breathing, which first fills your entire lower belly, then rises to the lower ribcage, and finally, moves into the upper chest and throat. You will literally be breathing with your entire body, rather than just one part of it.

Tip #1: You want to both inhale and exhale through your nose, keeping the mouth closed at all times. Narrow your throat a bit, so that when you breathe you can hear it. It should make a sound like the ocean, and you should feel your breath against your throat. Imagine if you were breathing through a straw, or breathing against a window and very slowly trying to fog it up. It’s like that, except with your mouth closed!

Tip #2: Make sure your inhales are about the same length as your exhales. To start, it helps to count, so that you can have a guide. It also gives you something to focus on if you’re new to meditation and have a hard time tuning out your thoughts and mind’s chatter. For example: Inhale for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts. In your head you can slowly chant: “Inhaling, 2, 3, 4, Exhaling, 2, 3, 4.” This will force you to measure your breaths and be mindful, which is what meditation is all about. Be mindful of your body and breath, taking slow, measured breaths rather than just inhaling slow, and then exhaling it all out in one big rush.

Tip #3: Put your hand on your belly. Pretend it’s a balloon. Breathe in slowly and deeply to 4 counts, and imagine that the balloon (your stomach) is slowly filling with air. Once it does and it’s filled to maximum capacity, allow that breathe to go even further, filling up your ribcage, and then your upper chest, all the way up to your throat. Hold it for a second or two, paying attention to how good and unusual it feels to be breathing with your entire body, filling up your entire diaphragm, and how full you feel.

Now, your instincts are going to be to immediately exhale hard and fast, because you’re not used to breathing this way. Resist the urge to let it all go. Imagine that you have an allowance of air, and you can’t spend that allowance all at once. It needs to last you. Instead, tighten up your throat and slowly and measuredly release the breath to the count of 4, feeling the balloon (your stomach) deflating as you do. Allow the balloon and your lungs to empty completely before starting the process again. Try this a few times to get used to how it feels. Get in the groove of it and get used to breathing with your entire body. Assess the effect it’s having on your body, mind, and spirit.

Tip #4: When you take big inhales, it is customary for a lot of people to inhale into their lungs and upper body instead of their belly, which causes their shoulders to thrust up and chest to thrust out. This is what we want to avoid. Instead, try to keep your entire body stationary and still, except for your belly. Your shoulders should not rise, nor should your chest. Allow only your belly to move.

Once you’ve gotten comfortable enough with the process, you are ready to begin your meditation. Let’s begin.

1) Find a quiet place where you won’t be bothered for at least 5-10 minutes. Sit down on the floor cross-legged, or lie down on your bed/the floor. Keep your back straight, but in a natural posture. Don’t force your posture up rigidly, which creates an arch in your back.  Instead, just imagine yourself straight, tall, strong, and grounded, like a tree.

2) Close your eyes, and focus on the area between your eyes on your forehead. This is your third eye, and what you will connect to during your meditations. During the meditation, you may even see faint bursts of color in this area, or feel pulsating. To feel grounded, keep your palms flat on your thighs (or at your sides and flat on the bed if you’re lying down). To receive energy, keep your palms open and up.

3) Take a few breaths the way you normally would breathe. Assess your breathing. Do you breathe quick and sporadically, or long and slow? Are your breaths shallow or deep? Are your inhales longer than your exhales, or vice versa? This will give you a better idea of what you need to change and how.

4) Start by taking your first deep diaphragmatic breath. Make sure your lungs are completely emptied of air, and then inhale into your belly slowly. Keep in mind you want this inhale to last for 4 counts, so allot for that. Measure your breath slowly so it lasts. Start by chanting in your mind, “Inhale, 2, 3, 4. Exhale, 2, 3, 4.” Keep your throat narrow and slightly tight, as if breathing through a straw, and make the sound of the ocean against your throat. Keep breathing this way and get settled into this newfound way of breathing. Breathe deep into your belly, feeling it fill up with air and protruding with every inhale, and feel it deflate and flatten as you exhale.

5) Keep focusing on your breath. Let it be your anchor, your focal point, your hold on your concentration. For people that have a hard time quieting their mind when meditating, this is the perfect way to get your mind off your daily life and thoughts, and give you something else to focus on. If thoughts do enter your head, that’s fine! Don’t judge them, don’t chastise yourself; just allow them to float away and dissipate, and come back to your breath.

6) Keep doing this for a few minutes, and soon you will find that you don’t even need to count anymore. Your body will remember what to do, and quickly adopt this new and improved, healing way of breathing. Just lose yourself in the sound of your breath, the full feeling of breathing with your entire body, or the calm sense of tranquility that washes over you with every exhale.

Once you are done, open your eyes, and take notice of how much different the world looks. You will notice that colors seem brighter, things seem more calm and serene. Assess how you feel, and how it differs from how you felt before the meditation. Do you feel more at peace, more calm, less stressed, less angry? Some people even cry during their first few meditations like this because it taps into things that you have had buried, as if your breath literally reached deep down inside you and pulled it up to the surface. If so, that’s okay too. In fact, that’s great! Allow yourself to cry and feel the huge release that comes with it.

Meditation doesn’t always have to be all about peace, calm, and happiness right away. Sometimes meditation forces us to face our deepest fears or negative emotions in order to attain a true sense of peace, calm, and happiness, that can only be attained once we face that which plagues us. Either way, allow the meditation to give you its gifts, and receive them without judgment. This is your journey, nobody else’s, and it will affect you in a unique and special way that is unlike the way it affects anyone else. Express gratitude to yourself for taking this chance today, and for taking a little bit of special time out just for yourself, because you deserve it and you’re worth it. Congratulations. You are now one step farther on your path to becoming your greatest version.